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Sunday, November 28, 2010

"A Christmas Vibe" by 2 Guitars

The call came in to ShiftingBlissMusicWorks at around 5:00pm on a stormy Friday afternoon. It was Mrs. Claus, not her usual bubbly self. She asked about the GlobalMobilUnit, 2 Guitars. “Could they be sent to the North Pole, and if so, how soon could they get here ?” she cried desperately. She was reassured that they would be dispatched immediately, boarded on a private aircraft carrying the WoodyGlobalMobilUnit 1: Hun E. Bear, Meixy, P.R.A.M.,and, of course, Zip the Pig, along with many barrels of organic honey and high test rum. They would fly, under the cover of darkness, the airliner screaming through the midnight sky, parting the pillowy clouds.

The jet landed early the next morning on the secluded airstrip behind the Claus compound. Mrs. Claus came out with her elf advisors to greet the 2 Guitars Team. "Goodness gracious", she exclaimed excitedly. "I'm so happy to see you all. It’s been a long time." "Yes, too long," Pram replied. "1979 to be exact". They went inside the compound and took refuge in the Great Room. Mrs. Santa then proceeded to tell The Team that her husband, the one and only, Kris Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus, a.k.a That Guy, a.k.a. The Man, a.k.a "dude in a red suit comin' down the chute", had not been himself of late. He was saddened and preoccupied with a modern malaise of digital distraction, including mindless TV reality shows , an absence of meaningful human interaction and interconnection and, of course, the ever present and always mind dominating SpaceBook. (note to reader: Check us out on SpaceBook) It has all thrown him into a tailspin. Mr. Claus became unglued after taking a bath in the recent global financial collapse, in addition to having his computer server frozen by an overwhelming demand for gifts. "So, boys" uttered Mrs. Claus pleadingly, “in the words of Dianne Warren’s ditty, sung by Christina Aguilera, “I Turn to You".

The boys, a.k.a. Meixy and Pram ,a.k.a. Hun E. Bear and Zip the Pig, a.k.a. 2 Guitars all turned to each other and said: "He's done some things, we've done some things, let’s groove" This was their own inside way of telling each other: something had to be done to help Klaus, a.k.a. Kris Kringlestofferson, "get his Mojo back". Mrs. Claus said that since all these things had happened, Krause a.k.a.Klips, a.k.a. Krisp Krispy Meng had taken to walking in the woods around the compound grounds, reciting a bizarre mantra in a feeble attempt to see his own "spirit sign" in the sky. The mantra went something like this: "Gru Gru Shaka Shaka Zimgar Guitar". This was a reference to his first guitar. His father had purchased it for him when he was five, from an old Sears and Roebuck mail order catalog.

They set out that very moment, going deep into the woods and planning to play in various locations, thirty-minute Christmas song sets, within a 10 to 15 mile radius. Hun E. Bear was pulling the High-Tech GlobalMobilUnit 1 Hut and Zip the Pig was providing his usual high level logistical support, along with his OM-Drone Reconnaissance Claus-Positioning System. Together they would find Kris Klause Knokka, enchant him, sloopy eye-slant him, and maybe even have to "Van Dam" him, to bring him back to himself. Because lets face it … It all begins with the self.